She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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