Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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