I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
