how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
