yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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