wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
