I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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