i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
