I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
