just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i think i have herpe
just one?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize