Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
In America we eat man semen.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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