I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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