using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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