Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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