I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize