i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
