just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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