I cockslap morals
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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