Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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