i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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