I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
