It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
