He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
