Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
