Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize