ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
