Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
