Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
