Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
