Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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