i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize