I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
