3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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