They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
