I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
soo... how was my night?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
