She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
