He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
