Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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