I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize