He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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