i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
