i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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