I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
