Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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