I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
