Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
