i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize