Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
