So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
how drunk are you?
Several
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize