Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
