I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
