I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
