There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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