Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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