ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
