so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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