So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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