You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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