Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize